The Friend Zone

 

mario1

“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into…” the Friend Zone?

Oh boy. Guys, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You finally find the girl that you’re extremely attracted to; a girl that you feel you could truly have some kind of a bright and excellent future with. You two get to know one another, and perhaps go out on a few friendly dates.

You know she’s pretty, but she has a great personality as well. You suddenly feel as if you’re in love. As time passes on, you realize that you really need to make this relationship official. So you ask her out in the best way you can think of. Her reply… well it’s worse than a no.

“I think the we should just be friends.”

…f…r…i…e…n…d…s…
…F…R…I…E…N…D…S…
FRIENDS?

You can’t believe your ears. You’ve just entered the friend zone. Now what?

Truth is this is a difficult relationship position to be in. The love chemicals are in effect, but she wants to remain friends. I would know; I was in the friend zone with the girl I love for a year and a half.

Many times there is a reason for a girl to want to remain friends. Here’s the predominate reason, at least to me. A super-important part of any relationship is the friendship, no matter what the stage of friendship. Many times it’s important to use a well developed friendship to help build up trust and commitment.

So the thing about friend-zoned relationships… on a guys side of things, it can almost be the ultimate test. In this regard, the friend zone can almost be a very good thing. Do well in this phase, and you’ll end up probably spending a lot more time with this “girl of your dreams” than you would have without going through the friend zone.

Take it from me. Anything that comes with a true, well formed relationship – basically anything that leads to true love – takes time and persistence. You can’t let your impatience run rampant. Power through the friend-zone, being the best friend to her you can. Eventually that will develop into a deep affection.

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Matthew Estes

Matthew Estes currently exists in the ether between graudate student and full-time worker. One day he hopes to be a full-time novelist and blogger, but until that day comes he spends his time playing video games, eating pizza, and being with his soon-to-be wife. However, he has yet to do all three at the same time. Bucket list stuff, you know.

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