Missing You

Just because we’re engaged doesn’t make things any easier. Living an hour away from you, only being able to see you once a week if that. Having to go through the complexities of life without you by my side. It may, in fact, make things harder. Knowing that I am going to marry you, yet not being there to support you when you’re down or celebrate with you when you’re happy.

I am often excited, like a child, with life being this especially wonderful thing. For a moment, this flood of joyfulness and positivity fill my soul. I’ve learned so much. I understand for an instant what life is all about. But then I look over to find that you’re not there, and I’m not there for you. It is disheartening. The ability to pressure through life and push through the lonely times by myself is becoming the new normal. I don’t like the new normal. The sun is setting right now, sparkling over these beautiful buildings that dot the country landscape. But that is irrelevant, because you’re not here to share the view with me.

Maybe God’s plan for life is for humans to live without ever quite feeling completely content. We just get older, marching on towards the hope that the day after the most catastrophic event in our lives will be the day we finally find where we truly belong. Or maybe… maybe I’m just missing you.

Word count: 240 words.

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Matthew Estes

Matthew Estes currently exists in the ether between graudate student and full-time worker. One day he hopes to be a full-time novelist and blogger, but until that day comes he spends his time playing video games, eating pizza, and being with his soon-to-be wife. However, he has yet to do all three at the same time. Bucket list stuff, you know.