Looking at the leaves on the trees, they hover and shimmer with rhythmic motion. A constant motion keeps them dancing in place for as long as they live. A constant turbulence vibrates the air, their motion affecting the world in unforeseen ways. Their movement is proof that we are alive. Enough to believe in something bigger than ourself.
Life is wondrous and awe-inspiring. It’s complex, but not not complicated. And I am the master of overthinking things. I am the sovereign only of making things more complicated than they are. Of thinking I’m on to something when I’m really only running in circles. It’s all just a defense mechanism for when I recognize that by myself I am pointless. But by some miracle I am not pointless, and I will never be alone.
All of my fears, doubts, and dread often cripple me. The first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is one, and I admit my anxiety manifests itself in thinking about the meaning of life. Overwhelmingly, I try to figure things out when sometimes I just need to stop and have a little bit of faith. I don’t have to turn my brain off to just trust that nobody, including myself, can know everything. Assurance and confidence are sometimes more important than rationality and reasoning.
It’s time for me to get caught up in the slipstream of life. This is not giving up, instead it’s letting go. It’s time to stop worrying so much about powering through life, responsible for my own forward motion. Only God is responsible for that, and he is a generous provider. Instead, it’s quality over quantity. I’m responsible only for completing the tasks I’m supposed to do. I’m responsible for embracing every moment, and unapologetically being the unique flavor I am to this world.
To love others is my cause. I have learned that to be happy is a choice we must make daily, and that there is no surer sign of miracles than to light up the dark sky with that joy. Embracing faith. Being supportive. Giving generously. I cannot allow myself to forget that these things are far more valuable to a collapsing world than agonizing over things beyond my control and out of my realm. Actions are far more important than trying to answer spiritual questions that nobody will ever know this side of eternity. Therefore, I am another leaf on the tree. My movements affecting and being effected by those around me and the force that governs us all. And I have learned to be content in this. I am in the slipstream.
About the photo: “This Close” The evening sun is shrouding what’s a few feet beyond Sara. Really, only I know what’s beyond where you can see. I find it appropriate because, you never know, it could be a hoard of giant millipedes. It’s not, but it could be.
Since I’ve been out sick for a little while, how about I type a mini-blog about today’s Daily Post prompt. One of the earliest memories I have of the tiny trailer my parents and I used to live in is this. I remember watching the opening ceremonies on television to the 1996 Olympic games in Atlanta. This was a big deal, because Atlanta is about 2 hours from where we live. That’s probably the closest I’ll ever get geographically to the Olympic Games in my lifetime. Unfortunately, I was five years old at the time, so it’s not like I could say “hey, let’s pack up and go!” That said, I have taken many trips to Olympic Stadium (now Turner Field, home of the Atlanta Braves) since then, so there’s that.
Again, I wanted to apologize for my vertigo/stomach flu one-two punch that left me down and out for a week. I really need to write some extra blogs to use in case that ever happens again.